Mistaken for Someone Who Cares

I love that people think I like animals just because I happen to be holding on to the end of a leash with one attached to the other end. It's like little kids.

I don't like little kids, either. Except, of course, that I adore my not-so-little kids, and could eat up the collection of other little kids in the family, namely, the precious nieces and nephews. And a select few other precocious wonders.

And I like my fish.

And I find Suki tolerable.

I know what you're thinking, with so many exceptions to my rule, time to re-evaluate the rule. Not. Nope. No way, Jose.

Anyway, it's Saturday morning. I'm up. The dog is up. The coffee is brewed. I decide to take me, the coffee, and the dog outside. There's something refreshing about the early morning in winter.

I sat on the flowerbed wall and watched the dog sniff at every leaf and perk her ears at the crackle of the pine trees. It's cold, but not so cold that I'm uncomfortable, so I enjoy the relative silence from humanity, and through the dog, hear every snap, every rustle in surrounding yards. Sound all poetic yet? Don't worry, my communing with nature ended abruptly when some neighbors from across the lake, about 90 years old, inch up the street in their hiuker-mobile moving at maybe 5 miles an hour.

My mood is dampened, as Suki instantly becomes fascinated by this new distraction. The hiukers finally pulled into the inconsiderate neighbors' house, the ones who own the gigantic dogs that are not on leashes even though there is a leash law so consequently they come into our yard and leave gigantic turds. Hmm. Sorry about the run-on. Anyway, they get out of the car and shatter the morning silence by calling for the dogs, who have clearly taken off to who-knows-where. They call loudly, setting off a barking fest of every dog in the area, except theirs. Nice call chief. Meanwhile, Suki is aquiver and forgets that she's out there to do her business, and who should be coming up the road but Reflector Man.

Jackpot. Just then, the hiukers find the dogs, load them up in their car, and take off at the blinding speed of 5 mph again. They pulled up on the side of the road to tell me that they are not stealing the dogs.

Do I care? Did I even notice there was a dog-napping in progress? Nope. Instead, I have to listen politely as they explain their connection to the dog. By then, Reflector Man arrives and continues to make inane small talk. When the hiukers leave, he proceeds to clarify their relationship to the dogs, in case I thought they were stealing them.

I didn't know dog-napping was such a crisis in our neighborhood. Maybe, if they kept the animals on leashes it would stave off the problem. Suki punctuated my thoughts by pooping.

I like that dog. Just don't tell anyone.