Friday, October 20, 2006

pantyhose, feminism, and common sense

I've got one of those jobs where "professional dress" translates to: you better be wearing pantyhose. My knee-jerk reaction to that is: the men better be wearing ties.

Consequently, we've got a lot of women wearing that awful support hose from the 70's--you know what I'm talking about--the one where the nude shade makes it look like you've been at the beach all summer, but your arms and face are scary-white. They lead to saggy ankles (tsk tsk).The guys, of course, don't disappoint. There are a few who wear their ties proudly--with short-sleeved shirts. I'm tempted to check their collars to see if the ties are snap ons.

Anyway, I dutifully wear my pantyhose.

This afternoon while in the ladies room doing the ministrations ladies do in those rooms, I managed to poke a finger through my hose. I didn't think it had compromised anything--I was sure it wasn't going to run because more than likely it would just continue to tear along the fault line. I was right.

By the time my staff meeting was over, the little tear was now a gaping hole in my thigh, and all that compressed thigh was trying to escape from the not-so-tiny-anymore hole. Yikes! It was like a sausage trying to escape the casing. Ew, perhaps that's not a good choice of imagery.

I dutifully wore the offending piece of lingerie. While chatting with two of my colleagues back in the office, the conversation made its way to a point where somehow it seemed appropriate to share my mishap. Why? Well, one of the ladies is pregnant, and so that automatically sets the stage for pregnancy war stories.

I told them about my sausage-casing thigh. They looked at me like I was afflicted. I got, in stereo, "Take them off!"


Why didn't I think of that?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I know that pantyhose are a pain for most women, and it seems that they have become more so since millions of women starting going for that pasty, white leg look after shows like Sex and the City. But, thank you for tolerating them, because they do make your legs look so much better and more professional in the office and work environment. And, I always wear my tie.