Thursday, December 07, 2006

Why I'm Fat (and don't really care)

I'm feeling a little bit under the weather, which of course is code for I feel really poopy and want to go home and crawl under the covers but I have a responsibility to my family to earn a paycheck so I'm going to be brave and cough and sneeze all over my co-workers and students.

Well, that was succinct. Anyway, my poopy state requires that I sniff and snort, too. It seems that the best thing for me to do is drink lots of hot tea, which has been helpful in soothing my sore throat and helping some with the congestion.

That was a very good plan until the afternoon, when I realized that I had no more tea bags. It's not like we live in some crazy communist state and I can't travel 1.3 miles to a grocery store to get more. It's just that I'm achey and uncomfortable, and it's 24 degrees outside, so I decided to make do with what was in the office.

What, indeed, was in the office? A little can of General Foods International Coffees Suisse Mocha low calorie coffee drink mix (sugar free-fat free-naturally decaffeinated). So I made a cup.
What in blue blazes was I thinking? It tasted like shit. Ow, sorry for the little bomb, but...YUCK!

That's why I'm fat. I would have much preferred Starbuck's Supergigantic REAL Mocha made with whole milk, real espresso, and real cream. Duh. I still have time to rectify that error--I just have to find my parka and gloves.


Anonymous said...

It's funny, because I know you mean 24 degrees in a hyperbole sort of way, but here, it's 18 degrees outside, and 24 sounds warm. Feel better soon!!

The Jules said...

I agree...another reason why Americans are fat (besides the "good for you" stuff tastes terrible) is that you can rarely find diet stuff. I walked down every aisle of publix one day and couldn't find slim-fast. so i quit dieting that day :-)

cortijo said...

It was 66 yesterday in Rome and 63 today. So much for a White Christmas. Oh, well, I'll keep dreaming about it!

Goldiefish said...

I dreamt of snow the other night...guess that'll have to do. But I have to say, I LOVE this weather!

Bego said...

dreamt of snow? what, did it somehow *smell* like snow is in the air. I love that story.