darwinism at work

Today's disturbing news and why I want to move to the Australian outback and take care of wild rabbits.

Today is 12 of 12--check back later!

Updating...

...lest the Missing One decides to embarrass three generations of teachers in the family and fires off an ignorant email suggesting that she be given an extension on her term paper because she had to keep her nail appointment.

In other education news, I will be on leave next week to take an entry level education methodology class. I've only been teaching for 23 years.

I'm not sure I know what to make of that, but I'm not going with anyone entertaining, so I think I'll have to behave.

Shucks.

Perhaps I'll develop endless scenarios for classroom management. I'm afraid I won't have to make up any of them, and I imagine none of it will be covered in the manual. After all, how does one address a young lady in hip huggers when she ought not to wear anything other than a muu-muu, and gently suggest that she wear a tent because she is mooning the entire back row of students?

Or attempt to engage a Dolly Partonesque woman who has her name, in script, tatooed across her abundant cleavage?

Or try to understand a Flava Flave wannabe, who can't articulate past the grillz in his mouf.

Alas, all true incidents. None in the theory manuals. And that was just today.

Well, it's Monday

That pretty much says it all. Most federal employees are celebrating Columbus Day today, but I am a state employee, so my butt is sitting behind a desk, working.

I've been decluttering a bit, around the house, in my head, my desk.

My email!

Of all the odious duties, I think email is the worst. There is no magical solution to that. If I knew it, I could retire, as I expect that all of you have the same problem.

I embrace the delete button. If only we could apply that to other nuisances in our lives.

Speaking of nuisances...today's gem from the classroom:

"Do I have to read the assigned chapters, or just skim them?"

Watch out, Mia Hamm!

There's a new kid in town...

entertaining myself, cuz i can

Here's today's exciting project!

I published a short story in lulu, for free download for those of you interested. Please be interested. It's lousy being a writer that no one reads.

Check it out here:

http://www.lulu.com/content/1276990

It's totally free, and I set it up so you don't even have to download it, just use preview.

If my life had a soundtrack...Phantom of the Opera would be playing

Ok, that's because I am currently blaring it. It's one of those late nights when I am a sitting duck in anticipation of students and their needy questions. It's all about customer service, and I am here to serve the customers, um, or something. That's me in the stocks.

I continue to be astounded by the nature of the questions. Really.

Meanwhile, the Phantom is bemoaning his existence. I have no Christine to sing for. It's a bleak evening.

Some highlights:

• I finished filing. That'll last until Thursday afternoon.


• I scored 10 million points on Pinball. I am a beast.


• The candy machine is stocking my favoritest candybar, Zero. Yummy. I bought one and scarfed it down. It took the edge off the questions.


• I am all caught up on grading (nevermind I haven't assigned anything yet).


• My nephew called to tell me he's coming over later. They live 700 miles away. [smile]


• I burned my bottom lip on a hunk of melted pizza cheese. I sat and watched youtube videos and peeled off the dead skin. That is sick.


• Decided to whine here, to give Laura an opportunity to tell me to suck it up.

That is all.

peek-a-boo

It's Banned Books Week

Oh so fun! Love the "treasure your freedom to read" tagline, although the pirate thing is a bit hokey. Still, lovely puns abound. "Ship o' the banned." Heh-heh.

Of course it wouldn't be banned books week without a reference to Harry Potter, so I picked my favorite character, Snape--I mean Alan Rickman. Oh hey, so tell me if you have difficulty recognizing him in this picture because he's smiling. With his eyes, even. So NOT Snape.

I am overjoyed that Huck Finn has finally been released from the bonds of banhood. This year's top banned book is about gay penguins, and here I've thought all this time that Happy

Feet was a family flick.

Game Day, Again

The royal "we" shall endeavor to be fan-like. Such as.

I broke my glasses

Wow.

Just. Wow.

Computer science majors. LUGs (not Lesbians Until Graduation--admittedly a very weird social trend, but a Linux Users club!) and Sororities. Oh, and nerd makeovers.

I think it's a very bad combo, but these guys are hopeful. It's like Reality TV, only...real.

Looking to recruit more women, and perhaps date some sorority girls, the largest computer club at Washington State University hopes to hold a "nerd auction." The idea is to trade their computer skills to sorority girls in exchange for a makeover and, possibly, a date.

"You can buy a nerd and he'll fix your computer, help you with stats homework, or if you're really adventurous, take you to dinner!" Ben Ford, president of the Linux Users Group, said on its Web site recently.

for Anna Banana

Here's a treasure hunt of my favorite verses for you to look up. Tell me what you think of them.

Mark 10:13-16

Ephesians 6:1-3 (LOL, my favorite)

Romans 15:13

and my personal favorite, although this one might need mom or dad's help:

It's called Mary's Canticle, so look it up and see what you learn, Luke1:46-55.

Backyard Pets

For My Brother

Spotted on a T-shirt when I dropped off Jonathan for a math competition:

There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those that understand binary, and those that don't.

I got it. Hee!

'

Updated: Who sues God?

Betcha he wasn't expecting a countersuit.

This fool sued God to prove there are frivolous lawsuits. He wasn't expecting a response, but he got one. The article, "God Apparently Responds to Lawsuit" explains it all. If you have a few moments, you should follow the link and read it. I snorted my coffee as John read the article.

My favorite highlights:

• St. Michael the Archangel is listed as a witness.
• The suit was filed in...wait for it...Corpus Cristi.
• Best quote from article, regarding the presentation of the suit, "This one miraculously appeared on the counter. It just all of a sudden was here - poof!"

There's actually some serious commentary there. Ha!

---

Seems that there's more news about the suit against God. An attorney came forward to accept responsibility for the first response, saying that just in case, somebody ought to defend God.

Duh. Things are not looking good on earth. But the big mystery still remains with the other document, that just "appeared" on the counter.

In other news, apparitions at my old parish, St. Brendan, in Miami. Check out the video that accompanies the brief article.

Aaaar, ya landlubbers! ! !

Ahoy! Me mate and me didn't have to use our ferocious pirate weapons, since th' godfosaken grades were submitted early. After being talked at interminably at a faculty meeting, we were ready to walk th' gang plank ourselves. Luckily, Captain Hook released us from duty th' rest o' th' day, so we're off to swill a pint or two o' grog.

this in from cuba...

After serving for two different dioceses at the same time, my uncle was finally able to step down from one. I guess bilocation really is possible, although the ensuing gray hair seems an inevitable byproduct. I can't even imagine the workload, let alone the stress of shepherding his vast flock with the usual wolves-in-waiting;he has to do it under the specter of a particularly diabolical chupacabra.

Pray for vocations. And pray for the priests and religious in Cuba.

let me share my dream with you because psychosis loves company

This morning a little while before sunrise I awoke to the distinct feeling that someone was leaning over me in the bed, like when little kids get in your face to see if you are asleep. It goes down hill from there. I proceeded to take the dream equivalent of Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. It was definitely a mickey-mouse adventure, only this wasn't Disney World, and Mickey Mouse was nowhere to be seen.

It played more like Twilight Zone or Outer Limits, and featured, of all things, a nun in a navy blue habit that drove a stick shift minivan (burgundy, for anyone keeping count). At one point, she leaned over to me from the back seat to ask who was driving, and I had to somehow jump into the driver's seat. Naturally, the gears were all in the wrong place.

She kept wanting to know the topic of the next That Catholic Show and she was evidently going to drive me around until I spilled the beans. We ended up at the bottom of the Zugspitz, although I recognized the village as a little town outside of Bamberg where John and I used to drink beer and eat awesome meats and cheese. Help!

Finally, I demanded that we return to get my car, which I had inexplicably abandoned by the side of the road. The keys were in the ignition, but someone had taken my cell phone apart and left all the pieces neatly arranged on the bottom shelf of an emergency room crash cart.

I woke up then. It was actually kind of disappointing. I was really getting into the weird adventure, ya know?

My friend and former professor, Gonzalo, a Freudian Psychoanalyst, wouldn't touch this dream with a ten foot pole. Of course, I wouldn't trust anyone with a cat named Mario anyway.

To be sure, I recognize all the elements of craziness going on in my life at the moment. I shouldn't have had that second glass of cabernet sauvignon before going to bed last night. The only thing I don't get is the nun.

Who is the nun?

update: my friends, the Lindas-Squared, pointed out that Blue Nun is a wine. I guess that makes sense. Even as I was drinking that second glass of wine I was thinking that I should switch to white because red gives me heartburn. Hmmm.

Parent Night at GaTech

The band performed last night, and of course today is game day! I should have filmed the Pagliacci piece. It blew me out of the seat. Just to give you a sense of size, we are in a fairly large theater, and the band is wrapped around the theater and on stage. It was definite;y surround sound!